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A growing area of focus and concern in counseling is that of religious trauma. For many, their religion is a foundation and pillar on which to build their way of life. Faith can be a tremendous strength and source of comfort, guiding our actions and decisions. However, there are also shame and/or fear-based sects of various faiths. I would love to think this isn’t common. However, the sheer number of people I see who have experienced something along these lines is staggering. It is indicative that the issue is likely more widespread than many think.
Some faiths may demand congregants conform to certain standards, mores, and norms. If they refuse, or do not “live up” to the expected lifestyle, many may live under threat of being judged, ex-communicated, separated from family or loved ones, eternal damnation, and being ostracized from their community. Faiths which condemn divorce may result in a person feeling they need to stay in an abusive relationship, or make decisions not in line with their identity. Choosing to leave can be emotionally difficult, and sometimes even physically harmful.
There are also many, many cases of sexual abuse by religious leaders, further perpetuating trauma, fear, and confusion. This would be a form of religious abuse. Religious trauma is a more widespread and systemic experience as a whole (Therapist.com, Feb 12, 2024.).
According to therapist.com, 10 sypmtoms of religious trauma may include:
1. Self-hatred
Some religious movements rest on the idea that some people are inherently evil, untrustworthy, or unworthy of love. Others elevate certain identities over others, leading to marginalization, discrimination, and oppression. This may result in low self-esteem, depression, self-harm, or suicidal ideation.
2. Shame
Shame occurs when you equate a negative action with who you are as a person. Many unhealthy religious communities use shame as a way to influence and control others. Instead of learning to accept responsibility for their mistakes and extending forgiveness to themselves and others, people in shame-based religions often learn to cover up or deny anything that could be considered wrong by their community.
3. Perfectionism
Some religious communities may identify certain actions or behaviors as indicative of a person’s moral value, and they may promote certain careers or types of families as spiritually superior. This can result in perfectionism, which is often accompanied by high levels of anxiety and stress, as well as the setting of unrealistic goals.
4. Hypervigilance
Some religions paint a picture of a vindictive god who punishes people whenever they fall short. Others promote apocalyptic ideas and suggest that a violent end to the world is nigh. These ideas may lead to heightened levels of anxiety resulting in hypervigilance: a constant state of anxiety meant to protect a person from perceived or actual threats of harm.
5. Difficulty with making decisions
Many who experience religious trauma are accustomed to making decisions in the context of a certain doctrine and/or hierarchy. If they choose to change their relationship with these institutions or leave them entirely, they may struggle with autonomy and making their own decisions.
6. Loss of community
For many, religion provides community. If a person changes or leaves their faith, they may lose contact with many friends, family members, and acquaintances.
Some people who leave their religious community may experience a season of loneliness and isolation. It can be intimidating to rebuild a community, especially if people outside their faith were often labeled evil or inferior.
7. Lack of boundaries
Being part of a religious community often means accepting some amount of feedback regarding how you live your life. Many faith communities also have expectations for volunteering and service.
These can be considered healthy aspects of religion, as long as boundaries are clear and respected. When boundaries are blurred or nonexistent, a person may struggle to find their identity without input from others. They may also have a hard time saying no to certain tasks or prioritizing self-care.
8. Delayed social milestones
Purity culture is a religious concept that focuses on ideas about gender, sexuality, sex, virginity, marriage, and procreation. Religions that rely heavily on purity culture may scrutinize or monitor children’s social interactions and segregate kids based on their assigned sex. In these contexts, LGBTQIA+ people in particular may not have the chance to experience social milestones, such as first dates or kisses, until adulthood. This delay can be frustrating, and some people who had overly restricted lives as teenagers may make impulsive or reckless decisions as adults once they leave their religious communities.
9. Sexual dysfunction
Religions that overemphasize purity culture may not prepare their followers for healthy sex lives, even in the context of marriage.
Many people who struggle with religious trauma practice abstinence until marriage and may feel dirty or guilty when engaging in sex. People from religious backgrounds that preach traditional gender roles may struggle to confront realities about desire, drive, and performance that don’t align with what they learned. Some religions teach about sex in a way that centers obligation instead of consent, resulting in unhealthy, harmful, or even criminal sexual behaviors.
10. Mental health disorders
Religious trauma can cause, contribute to, or otherwise worsen mental health disorders. Commonly associated mental illnesses include:
Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, eating disorders, addiction, and others (Feb 12, 2024.).
If you or a loved one believe you are or have been exposed to religious trauma, please see a qualified counselor for help. There are many therapeutic methods that may help, and should be based on what is a good fit for you.
Be well,
Kristine
References
Team, Therapist. com. (2024, February 12). Religious trauma: Signs, symptoms, causes, and treatment . therapist.com. https://therapist.com/trauma/religious-trauma/
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